I Don't Like How You're Living My Life. A Horror Flick.

This video will give you nightmares. Aired on May 17, 2010.

Rated PA-22. Parental Assistance strongly recommended for people above the ages of 22.

I Have No Shame.

The Setting: The balcony of a touristy mid-town restaurant before the dinner rush.
The Circumstances: Hot30-somethingManagerLady (We will call her HotManager) is interviewing Underemployed for a hostess position.

HotManager: Ivy League! One of my best friends went there.
Underemployed: Oh cool! Yeah it's a great school.
HotManager: She loved it. Did you graduate this year?
Underemployed: No, May '08. Did your friend graduate near my year, maybe I know her?

HotManager giggles with glee.

HotManager: No, no, college was a long time ago for us.

End of scene.

That's right people. I'm so good I even pulled that ass-kissing off.

Another Creepy Visual.

I have seen some pretty damn creepy stuff in the kitchen. Pig heads, sausage creating, terrine making- none of these pork products are creepy in and of themselves, but like the picture of Padma in the post below, sometimes cooking and eating stuff is just kind of weird.

This ad for sausage is kind of disturbing.




Looking at Jenna Jameson slurping an oyster is kind of disturbing.





This ad for beer is extremely disturbing.

I Guess I Won't Be Top Cheffing This Week.

Last thursday I applied to be a server at an NYC restaurant run by a former Top Chef Contestant. I felt like I knew the chef already and he seemed personable on TV, plus I figured the Top Chef cred would guarantee a busy restaurant.

I emailed in my resume- they explicitly asked for applicants not to send a cover letter- and heard back from them on Friday. They wanted to set up a preliminary phone interview.

On the day of the phone interview I called. Here are the three questions I was asked:

When would you be able to start?
Are there any days you can't work?
Is there anything you want us to know?

Now, I finessed that last question but even so the interview was all of 5 minutes. I haven't heard back from them. I'm not even beating myself up about this one. I barely said anything, let alone anything wrong.




Doesn't Padma look like she just killed something with only her hands and a wood spoon? Something that bleeds chocolate!

You'll Scream For (No More) Ice Cream!

As we approach 90-degree humid heat today in New York City, I'm sure the city's ice cream scoopers will be sweating too. I have never scooped, but one of my college-educated co-workers at the restaurant scooped last summer and vowed never to do it again.

It go me thinking- it's air conditioned, customers want what you're selling, and you don't have to worry about tips as your major source of income, so there is a little less pressure on every interaction. What could be bad?

It hurts. My friend at the restaurant told me that by the end of the summer she was wearing one of those carpal tunnel wrist guards and dreading every order. Even now, she sometimes gets sore pouring waters for tables. I know how she feels- making espresso drink after espresso drink really aggravates my wrist sometimes from the repeated fist making and hammering motions. I feel like an old lady at 24.

One of my good friends from Ivy League just started a job scooping ice cream in Boston- I hope her wrists hold up. And if they don't, I hope she quits in time.

In Which I Don't Try To Get More Work In The Industry.

Fellow New Yorkers, the time we've been dreading has arrived. TGIFriday's in Union Square is opening and they are hiring front of house staff!

I found this ad today on Craigslist : New Restaurant Opening- NOW HIRING

I wish that they had put the TGIFriday's name in the post title so as not to waste my clicking-time. For me, restaurant work is challenging enough. I don't think I have the heart to sell utter crap to boatloads of tourists who are just blocks away some of the greatest restaurants in NYC. And I don't want to wear that polo or the visor, or the 37 pieces of flair. This is one case where I deserve my underemployment.

OMG I'm Still Confused. Like, I Can't Even Deal.

I have nothing to write today since after an amazing day off spent with a fellow underemployed friend I have watched the series finale of "Lost." And I'm not too cool to admit that I am stunned and really thinking about what I saw.

All I will say is this: At participating AMC Theaters, movies before noon on weekdays are $6.

And this: I am impressed that the screenwriters of "Lost" held up their end of the bargain for the most part. There was more than enough pay off in that finale.

I will be back to my normal self tomorrow. Let me deal, people, let me deal.