Everything Old Is New Again.

This is a short post, since I need to make it into bed early. I'll put it this way: This time last year I was waking up monstrously early to be at work in room service at 6 AM. I have come full circle, setting my alarm to wake up tomorrow in time to give my boss the Chef a wake up call at 6 AM for his early morning flight. This is going to suck real bad. And my 30-day performance review / evaluation / what the fuck is going on with my employment status is going to be happening tomorrow. Big day tomorrow.

What's A Girl Have To Do To Get A Little Service Around Here?

Apparently, the answer is "Call me."

This was my first weekend where I did substantial work on day off. And in the middle of what was a really great day off. I spent three hours calling customers, emailing the restaurant, and rearranging car services for Chef. I set up shop at the bar of a mom & pop chinese food restaurant, nursing a single can of diet coke working from my "virtual office."

Now, the first series of interruptions and phone calls caught me on a 30-block walk with a cute guy I had just had lunch with...but never one to try to impress, I of course took the call, wrote the emails and allowed myself to be interrupted. Fortunately for me, he later told me that he found the whole experience "fun." Score 1 for me.

In The Devil Wears Prada, the friends and lovers in Andy's (Anne Hathaway's) life resent her being on-call, give her grief for interrupting meals to take a phone call, ditching plans to do work for the boss. But to my mind, that's what she was paid for. And if they don't like it, they should offer to pay her rent for her.

And for the three remaining weeks I'm definitely working for this restaurant group, that's what I'm being paid for too. If they call me and I'm physically able to answer the phone, I will take it. I mean, I'm making more than twice what I was a cocktail server for the month, and I appreciate that the money is in exchange for my services. My services these days are no longer a smile and a drink menu, but rather my ability to have time to do things people more important than me don't. And props to my friends who have handled my frazzled interruptions with the same sense of humor I try to bring too.

I was feeling sort of stressed out by the time my phone calls and emails ended. It was sort of a wake-up call that my second attempt to socialize this weekend was thwarted by the blackberry. Friday night there was a big event that Chef was at, along with his first assistant. I had been instructed to be "on call," meaning reachable for the evening. When I finally joined up with my friends for a quiet evening of insobriety and Paul Newman flicks around 10:30, I was still theoretically on the clock. When the berry went off with an email from Chef thanking everyone for a successful evening, a great sigh of relief was exhaled. That was around 11:30 pm.

For the lawyers, paralegals and med students reading this, my plight seems small. Because it is. It's just that I haven't been asked to be so available to my work maybe since my last major collaborative art project in college. I'm getting used to it. Slowly but surely, my new life is making more and more sense to me.

Figuring Out Who Likes Me. Like, At Work, I Mean.

Well, this week was my first week flying solo.

At the end of my first day of work, two of the higher ups sat me down.

SkinnySuperior: How do you think it's going so far?"
Underemployed: Good. There hasn't been any yelling so I think that's a good sign.
Awkward laughter since nobody ever makes jokes at this office.
SkinnySuperior: Well, this is the smoothest transition we've ever had, and HipsterSuperior and I are both going to be out of the office after tomorrow so we're just kind of paranoid.
Underemployed (knocking on wood) : Well, let's see what happens tomorrow.

Each day sort of went like this, and by the end of the week I ended up having down time. The thing is, and I don't want to sound like an ass, but the girl who trained me was sort of a moron. That doesn't mean she wasn't good at this job. But maybe this job is totally her speed. I mean, I just haven't found it that challenging to file, to be a receptionist, be an office manager (aka office supply orderer) and to do reservations in one workday. But after the scary Cutrone-esque speeches I was given, I too am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I was warned ahead of time that Chef is a diva, and likely to yell at me. He depends on HipsterSuperior to do his travel arrangements and personal assistant stuff. I was told that I will be assisting with the personal assisting later in the month, once Chef gets to know me more. Well, HipsterSuperior was on vacation this week, and Chef was in Europe doing food-related work. And he had plans in need of changing. So I took care of it. It just didn't strike me as that big of a deal, and my superior was out of town, out of the office.

So yes, I spent time at the office investigating airfares at the last minute. And yes, I spent hours over this long weekend on the phone trying to get hotel rates in foreign places and figuring out how to minimize last minute cancellation costs. And you know what? Chef apologized for asking me to work over the weekend. He thanked me for my work almost every email. I know that he's supposed to be so scary, but so far, so good. And this I feel is a small victory.

But my real victory of the week has been developing a friendship with the business partner, the most senior person in our office, Mr.Money. My predecessor described Mr.Money as a jerk, one in front of whom you had to use only the precisest words. "Just think about what you want to tell him before you open your mouth, he'll hang on your every word."

Yet, in the office he and I get on great. He laughs at my jokes. He likes to taste test coffee blends with me around the office coffee machine. He sent me a huge list of restaurant recommendations when I went out of town this weekend. And when he pontificates about the restaurant industry, not only do I hang on every word, I seem to be the only one asking follow up questions. HELLO PEOPLE. The information and ideas he waxes about are why this job is worth taking, why it's best to work for the best people, even if you're at the bottom of the totem pole.

I've only had one project from him directly. As I went into his office to collect waste paper (it was my cleaning day) he looked up from his computer.

Mr.Money : Thanks....Shit!
Underemployed: What?
Mr.Money: I didn't read the email you sent me.
He finds Underemployed email amongst several in his inbox. Reads her findings.
Mr.Money: This is great. This is fascinating. Thank you so much. This is just what I was looking for.
Underemployed: Great. Let me know what my next step is whenever it's time to move forward.

My thinking is to do 110% on any and every project/task/favor asked of me by Chef and by Mr. Money. If I keep them lovin' it, it will be a lot harder for the Superiors to get rid of me when the month is over, even if the girl who trained me does return from Cali and resumes working.

I've been stressed out this week, figuring out what my role in the office is, who I can trust, and how important any given task is. But in spite of all of that, I think I'm kind of hitting it out of the park.

Stay tuned for week 2!

Oh, You Really Do Need To Check That Blackberry. Or, An Apology to Those I've Judged.

I get it. I didn't used to get it. Now I do.

I've never had a job where I needed to be available when I wasn't on the clock. It never made sense to me why I would need to be. What could I do from home anyway, I'd think to myself back when I was working in an arts administration office, I'll be back in the office on Monday morning and if it was really important they'd call me. And every once in a while my boss would call and I'd go to the office or do something time sensitive. I didn't have or need internet on my phone.

At the new (restaurant) office job, they gave me a blackberry. This blackberry is synced to the 5 email accounts I manage: my own, the 2 reservation email accounts and the 2 general questions accounts. I also get voicemails delivered into my email inbox. Awesome. Although the front of house managers deal with them during the weekend hours, I learned last night (saturday) at cocktail hour why I need to check the fucking blackberry, even though its supposedly my day off. The reason is- it's a restaurant! Weekends = busy time!

In my inbox was a time sensitive email request- someone wanted us to call her so she could buy someone else some appetizers as an apology for not being able to make it to the dinner. The recipient was to dine at 5. She emailed at 4. I checked the blackberry at 5:30. I immediately forwarded the request to the foh manager with a quick "I just read this. I'm out of the office thought you should take a look." I also bccd the PR director/chef's p.a. because they want to monitor all my emails to see if I'm up to par. I got a prompt response saying that the manager had spoken with the customer earlier- it must have been one of the million voicemails I haven't listened to yet.

I did absolutely nothing wrong. I was told foh monitors this stuff when I'm out of the office. It's not my responsibility to do this stuff over the weekend. But, this is so confusing to me. I didn't look bad for missing the email, did I? If so, really?

Question: If you have a work blackberry, how often do you have to check it over the weekend? I say every 3-4 hours should do. NYC Big Law Firm Quinn Emanuel has a once an hour and always before bed policy.

Readers, tell me what to do!

Ode To Kelly Cutrone. Part 1.

OSure, I bought her book hoping for advice about working in a fast paced, diva driven office environment but instead got her general musings about how to learn who I am. Although her description of fashion pr as her yogic ashram falls on deaf ears, Kelly Cutrone has wisdom to offer me. Below are some amazing clips from Bravo's "Kell on Earth." After a busy second day at the office, I have a new found zeal in watching these.

Legit, I have been given speeches at the new office like the one Kelly gives at the end of this clip. Except the part about crying. And her book-title-worthy advice is one I plan on following for the rest of my life.



On why I should be busy and stressed out:





Why it's bad to commit legitimate crimes. Particularly crimes related to or benefiting from my job:



How not to answer phones (this clip takes place at Kelly's company)




The restaurant office I now work in only has 2 male permanent staffers, but is run by a male chef/owner. One of the two men in the office is the only person in the office to not be on the main floor in a semi-private workspace. He's a big deal. But of the worker bees, only one man's in the trenches. I think Kelly would have lots to say about it, including that maybe the reason the women in my office are such type-A stone-faced crazies is because they are fighting a little harder than the men to be taken as seriously in their careers. Plus she mocks Ryan Seacrest to his face. Twice.




Kelly, teach me how to toughen up and work in a legit for profit office environment. And how to look great while doing it.

Back To Schoolish. Day 1 At The New Place.

It was fitting that first my first day at my new gig the weather was gray and crisp and back-to-school like. I definitely felt like I started a new chapter today.

Readers, forgive my lack of motivation but I am exhausted and can't write too much about my day. My dad emailed me to see how it went, below is our word for word email exchange.

Dad, to Underemployed

How was work?

Underemployed, to Dad

Fine- considering the disparate information needed to do this job has been presented to me completely haphazardly, I think I did fine. Honestly, in a way its a blessing that there's a grace period- takes the edge off. And they hired someone off the street to enter the office only 5 days before the replacement leaves. They could have hired an actual admin temp if they wanted someone who already knows how to be a secretary.

Learned more: The girl I'm replacing is 26 years old, and her husband of 1 year has filed for divorce. She's going home to stay with her mom in California...although no higher-ups have said it let alone even intimated, I wonder if there really will be a position for her when (if) she comes back to NYC. One doesn't just take a month off of full-time, salaried benefits work. And I think the hiring schedule suggests that she let them know at the last minute. She's literally getting on a plane friday night. I also don't think divorce is like a protected thing the way a spouse dying is (i.e. if her husband died i think it would be illegal for them to fire her for taking time off)

At the end of the day, the job is quick paced admin, and I am out of practice at office life which, given that i haven't sat at a desk since over a year, makes sense. This position is in no way a dream job, and there were definite times today i missed being on the floor, slinging cocktails and shooting the breeze with my coworkers. But i feel closer to living like the adult I actually am having normal hours and a decently sized paycheck.

we'll see.

Worth Waiting For. A Tale of Good Luck In A Bad Economy.

Dear readers (if I even have readers after this horrific pause) my life is about to change in a big way. A lot has happened since my last post.

-I got my evaluation from the restaurant. Super positive.
-I applied to be an office manager for one of the most succesful restaurant groups in New York.
-I interviewed with said group.

Yesterday I did a trail in their offices. Only an office run by former waiters would think to "trail" an administrator. I can't say I learned a ton yesterday, but I definitely got the feel for the personalities in the office. An added bonus was around lunch time the office ordered delicious pizzas. Just as we each pick up a slice, in walks the head chef of this organization: A frequently photographed, notoriously assholic and unequivocally gifted chef. And I ate lunch with him, an experience that the average food writer would kill a puppy for.

I've referenced "Kell on Earth" on this blog before. I'll soon be living it. Or The Devil Wears Prada. Whichever seems scarier. The position I accepted is to be their office manager. Part personal assistant, part reservationist, part secretary/receptionist, part Girl Friday, I'll be busy and won't have the same day twice. It's a full time job. And I got it. Almost.

Employers who are growing or can afford new hires are really holding the cards. They offered me the position through Sept. 30th, at which point they will evaluate my relationship in their company. Only in a time of epic underemployment can an employer make a position like this a temporary try-out thingee.

I know I took a risk giving notice at the restaurant that I've been working at for a year. My managers have all been supportive, however, and they know that I have nothing but gratitude for the opportunity they gave me when they took a chance on a newbie. Hopefully, the risk will pay off and I'll land a full time job with a salary and benefits. If not, at least I will have great war stories about working for one of the hardest core chefs in the country. And you'll all get to read 'em.

Literally Going Ballistic. A Frightening Workplace Tragedy.

Manchester, Connecticut

So there's this truck driver Omar S. Thornton (fans of "The Wire" note this) who had been stealing beer from the distribution company he worked for. He hated working there, he even suggested to his girlfriend that he had been the victim of racist harrasment. Walking into the office at 7 AM, Omar knew he was in for a doozy, seeing as it was a disciplinary meeting to talk about the video tapes which document his booze burgling.

Upon being presented with the decision to resign or be fired, Omar pulled out a gun and open fired, moving through the warehouse. The New York Times reports that Omar killed 8 employees- 6 truck drivers, a drivers' union rep and one company executive- and then himself. I wish I could be flippant about it, but when you think that these truck drivers Omar shot were just there at that early morning hour to do there job and go home, it's really nauseating.

There are so many terrible workplaces out there. I can't help but wonder what small changes every employer and employee could make tomorrow to make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen again. I'm a major advocate for thanking co-workers (even if they are just doing their job), but I think my small change will be using people's names.

No Matter What City You're In, A Shift is A Shift.

This picture of a Philadelphia restaurant's server manual is worth looking at.

Point by point:

1. This is pretty normal. People don't want to think about the fact that the service staff is working while they have a fun evening. For this reason, a lot of restaurateurs encourage service staff to also avoid the phrase "Are you still working on that?" since the guest isn't working, we are.

2. It makes me sad that management doesn't believe two employees can talk to each other about a problem in service without a manager intervening. Obviously harassing coworkers is bad.

3. I love this one. "If you must go to the bathroom..." Hello. Shifts are between 6-8 hours long, front of house staff will need to go to the bathroom. It's ridiculous that management has phrased it like it's some nuisance and that you should really know better. This is my least part of being a server. I hate asking permission of multiple people to pee. I'm sorry but it's kind of degrading. Remember Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption at the grocery store? Yeah, it's like that.

4. It's a pretty rare thing to have some rando walk into the kitchen. At restaurants with open kitchens it seems to be more of a problem. The reason having strangers in the kitchen is a real problem is beyond just the annoyance and weirdness. Restaurant kitchens are potentially very dangerous- open flame, hot exposed grills, scalding hot pans, knives and boiling liquids demand an awareness and a knowledge of how to move and communicate these dangers. No way a customer would know that if I say "Behind, pan" that means "I'm behind you with a hot pan so don't move backwards or turn around or you'll get burned by this heat conducting hunk of metal."

5. Also pretty normal. But sometimes when things are really busy you start tables that aren't in your section because somebody needs to f*ing serve these people. Where I work you aren't allowed to enter the computer system with someone else's sign-in number. Most places allow you to do that so you can take a table's order without starting a check in another server's section.

6. Yup.

7. Yup. No wilty salads. However, our kitchen does all our plating, so I don't really ever have to think about this.

8. Yup. We have several people looking the glasses over before they hit a table.

9. I know, I know, but seeing a server take a sip of water is really not the end of the world. C'mon.

10. I mean, yeah. Don't smell bad and don't look like you have a cud.

11. Also normal.


What do you think?

In Which I Don't Try To Get More Work In The Industry.

Fellow New Yorkers, the time we've been dreading has arrived. TGIFriday's in Union Square is opening and they are hiring front of house staff!

I found this ad today on Craigslist : New Restaurant Opening- NOW HIRING

I wish that they had put the TGIFriday's name in the post title so as not to waste my clicking-time. For me, restaurant work is challenging enough. I don't think I have the heart to sell utter crap to boatloads of tourists who are just blocks away some of the greatest restaurants in NYC. And I don't want to wear that polo or the visor, or the 37 pieces of flair. This is one case where I deserve my underemployment.

I'd Rather Give You Fresh Silverware Than a Fresh TPS Report Cover.

A few days ago, I worked for the special events team at a breakfast meeting that occurred in the cavernous event space below the restaurant. Although I only earned half of the $200 that was hinted at, the work was so easy and the shift so short (a mere 4 hours) that I really can't complain.

My duties:
Before Guests Arrive:
-Set up a full coffee and tea service on the buffet table
-Bring glassware downstairs from the bar and silverware from the restaurant
(Side-note: Carrying 30 glasses is hard and heavy. By far the most challenging part of the day. Barbacks and porters, I have a newfound respect.)
-Using a trolley, load up the eats assembled by the pastry team and then set them up on the buffet table

Once Guests Arrive:
-Stay out of the way
-Every 15 minutes, walk through the room, bus dirty plates, throw away any trash left lying around, make buffet look pretty
-Refill coffee, restock coffee cups as needed
-When not bussing, sit at the coat check desk folding napkins and making roll-ups to replenish the restaurant's stock which we pilfered to do this event

The event itself was some sort of media branding thing. At the head of the long meeting table was a woman with a laptop controlling the never-ending series of flow-charts up on the projection screen at the front of the room. The guests didn't know each other, as they introduced themselves with painfully awkward anecdotes. For example,

Suit #5: I'm Bob, and I got kicked out of Penn. Find me afterward for that story.
Twitters of laughter from the crowd.

I still have no idea what the meeting was really about or what it aimed to accomplish. Neither did some of its guests apparently, as there were people staring off into space, mindlessly picking at their fresh croissants and getting crumbs everywhere. I did overhear some tasty morsels of corporate hot air, the likes of which I've never encountered from someone not quoting Office Space.

Suit #18: I am wondering if Empathy could be a viable model.
Leader Woman : I mean, it depends on how you structure it. But yes, I think it could.
Underemployed tries not to laugh out loud as she restocks coffee cups in perfect rows.

About 2 hours later, while making another pass through the room, I was fortunate to hear yet another insightful, incisive bit of business magic.

Suit #30: Well, when we were working, we were really focused on the How. Passionate about it. But when we went to the clients, what they really cared about was the Why. And we didn't have an answer. And that taught me something.
Underemployed tries not to laugh out loud as she carries an armful of dirty plates out of the room.

Suit #30, it taught me something too. I'd rather be on my side of the meeting table. Hands down, I'd rather work at the restaurant.